I meant to add a meaningful entry today but I didn't, well obviously.

I received my Montana Drivers' License in the mail today. Actually two... Haha, funny story actually. While I was at the DMV about two weeks ago, I filled out the form and they mis-read my middle name, Renee and read it as Reivee. How? I do not know. Anyway so I received one with my correct full name and the other with the incorrect one. Both share the same lisence numbers so I can't use one as a fake ID. Heh. Darn.

I haven't been feeling like myself all day, since that bad nightmare I had last night. It was about a call I had last night at work, where this guy was being a total jerk and I tried to ignore the jerk-i-ness but couldn't. In my dream, everything was the same except for the dramatic aspect and I dreamt that the guy came out of my phone (how I don't know) and kicked me because I told him he would be charged for a tech to come to his house to diagnose and fix his leaking dishwasher.

Bastard.

And it doesn't make any sense that I'm taking this so personally.

I tried to design more layouts today, but failed. Only re-designed my design site. I couldn't think of anything. Gah.

But I did do something good. Called my Mom and my best friend, Kristen yesterday evening after I got off of work. Kristen turned twenty yesterday. Go her.

This is sad and pathetic, really. Its my weekend and I'm whining about crappy calls I had at work. I should go out more, instead of sulking and wishing I had a social life.

I watched MTV's True Life episode today, about breast implants. Sure it has crossed my mind a whole lot in the past, but I would never do that. After hearing about the horror stories. Nuh uh, not for me. But I just hope I will 'fully develop' sometime in the near future. I'm still the same size since the age of twelve. I suppose I'll get 'bigger' as long as I keep my weight up and not get depressed again. Ugh, depression. Evil, evil, evil. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

*Deeply sighs* I hate my memory, well the fact that I've experienced depression and all of the things I wanted to do to get rid of the thoughts of not graduating high school, my parents splitting, my Mom developing cancer, my boyfriend dumping me, my Dad not understanding a word I'm saying, my sister ignoring me, my classmates talking about me, and me losing a lot of weight. I want those memories gone. Forever.

Do you know what sounds really lame? I'm listening to depressing music, trying really hard not to get all mushy and stuff but I'm checking my email every few minutes or so to see if anyone has made any contact with me.

I don't know what is wrong with me.

Chris is having a Deadlands, Role Playing Game this Saturday night or something. And it will be here. I don't know what I will do. I don't want to play since I don't like RPG's, so I'll most likely go online and BS with people. Or I may just make new designs and hide.

People that know me well, know that I don't like meeting people for the fun of it. I suppose thats why I don't have too many friends. Okay, I have friends but they don't share the same interests as me. And what makes it worse, they're my co-worker friends. I don't think that's a bad thing but damnit, I haven't been 'out' in over a year, I need to go party.

But I suppose that's what I get for moving to Montana.

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears