I got some unpleasant news from Chuck - nothing serious, just kinda sucks. I can't even talk about it anyway. Grr. Stupid rules. We're just gonna have to celebrate Christmas a bit early this year and that's okay. I think.

Man, I'm so going to miss him. I'm such a late... bloomer? Er, in the sense that nothing hits me until right up to the moment of the said event then I'm a wreck. He's got duty tonight. If he were home, I'd totally be his slave (sorta.. I wouldn't clean for him, geeze!) and just make him feel great. Now that my work schedules don't match up to his (of course) we have almost no real time together. Ugh. I so shouldn't have ruined it yesterday.

Out in Costco we were picking up some free snacks and he asked if we could just go grocery shopping then instead of later. Me the moron threw a fit (I just wanted to go to Target to get some cough syrup/not knowing I'd have to wait till the night to take it...) and said no. We parted ways. Dumb thing to do in the middle of Coscto on a Sunday. In December. So, trying to retain whatever what was left of my nerves, sucked up my tears and walked over to the books. Wandered around for a few then chickened out and called him on my cell. He didn't answer the first time so of course I assumed he was ignoring me. Now I'm sure he didn't hear (or at least I'm telling myself that) the cell ringing. We met up later, by a snack stand and walked out of the store. I think then we went to Target (finally). I just don't like shopping on the weekends. Everyone and their dog is out... walking entirely too slow and stopping right in front of you, in the main aisle/hallway/thing.

Anyway, my cold is going away ever so slowly, but I'm still going to take a nice dose of Nyquil syrup tonight. I slept like a baby last night. It was GREAT! Finally 'bout six hours of undisturbed sleep. Amazing, people.

As of uh, a week ago I have gained a pound. I'm not sure if I should put so much importance on it since I could easily lose it (which I really don't want to). I should just check my weight once a month, or maybe twice a month and record it.

I also need to be all creative pronto, and write a letter thing inside Chuck's xmas card. I'm sure he'll like it but won't like it as much as I do, since I'm a girl and all. We let our emotions run us, instead of logic. Some of us anyway.

Crap. It's ten. I should've called Domino's awhile ago for dinner. I'm horrible. I guess it's Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches for dinner tonight. I would normally fix myself something good, but as we have no real things to make: almost no milk left, I'm sick to death of eggs, uhm... that's it.

I wrapped a few more gifts for Chuck tonight. He called earlier too, and told him what I was up to. I hope he doesn't think he has to buy me a ton of stuff. He's treated me so well this year, as well as last year. I mean, I didn't get him a ton of stuff, but granted.. it's uh, more than what he's giving me and that is OKAY. Really. It doesn't take much to make me happy. I also bought something for Royal today too. I hope he likes it. If not well, I can't take it back as it's too late and not allowed. Fun!

Back in the day when I was married, the in-laws "forgot" to give me a gift. How can you forget? I mean, how is that possible? That was the start of me realizing my part in their family. That I didn't belong. They were slowly trying to push me out. Eh. I need to stop living in the past.

A friend at my second job joked and said I should get Chuck a pile of poo for him for Xmas. Haha.. nooo!

Oh man. I'm just loving this hormone driven...crap Depo-Provera has.. My acne has gotten a tad worse since I started it in September and oh man, feels like I'm back in HS again. I've got a pimple right beneath my bottom lip, itching to burst but it doesn't.. it just hurts, a lot. I tried bursting it today but it wouldn't. I'll try again sometime before I go to work tomorrow afternoon. Hoping it'll somewhat heal before I have to face the public.

Heh. Face the public. Get it?

Oh! I need to reply to Royal's email. I'm a horrible, horrible friend..!

Also, I have no idea of who in the hell is reading this darn thing. I can guess a few people (the regulars) but who else? C'mon, sign or leave a note. I want names!

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears