I wrote this a few hours ago, and went back to bed, but I'm posting it now. Sorry f there's any confusion.

Closing last night at work was a blast. Here's our story: We were about to go take out the trash, the second to last thing on our many things to do that night, then we could finally clock out and go home. Since I was training the new lady, I asked if she's taken out the trash before, by herself. She replied with a simple "no." So I went ahead and walked out there with her (as the other employees have done that for me when I was new, too), and we both carried a bag. Winded our way back to the backside of the mall, towards the trash compactors. We opened the door and let its slam shut behind us. I told her the code for the trash bin (hopefully she'll remember) and I punched it in as it was pretty cold outside. Threw the bags inside, shut the door and it starts to compact automatically, not without a lot of noise. She jumped, but that's to be expected. We walked back to the doors, and I turned the handle. Locked. Huh? It has never done that before. I tried again, then these thoughts ran into my head, how in the world do we get back into our store? Oh, I should've left her in there and I do the trash on my own, etc,. We walked around the little bunch of decorative trees lining the outside of the trash area, and into the main entrance of the mall. People standing around the front looked at us oddly, I said, "Cold night, huh?" and kept walking. We veered toward the center of the mall, where Security was located. Empty. There's ALWAYS at least someone there. I noticed a jewelry shop with their lights on, gate down (as it was nearing 10, the mall closes at 9) but there was someone in there, doing paperwork. I yelled and asked if he knew when Security would be back. He noticed we were mall employees and said that they won't be back for awhile. I briefly explained to him what happened and he said just go down to Hallmark and call on them to let us in. I told him, "we are the only two closing tonight. The main outdoor doors locked us out, our door behind the store is unlocked. How do we get into the employee hallway?" He smiled and told us where to go. Oh man, what a LIFESAVER!

That has never happened to me before. I was too freaked out to bother with the cardboard boxes. Been having nothing but bad luck all week, didn't want another one adding to the list. I told Diane, the new lady, that the people tomorrow can deal with it. She's one of the four people working today. Haha. Well, she can tell them all the funny stuff. I left the meat of the story with my manager on his desk. It was just.. gah! I hate how we're short on Saturday nights, then on a Sunday, they've got 3+ people all day. So not cool. We're still "hiring" but the manager hasn't hired anyone in a week or two. It's getting down to the wire, and this can't go on... Luckily I already had the flu this year, so I won't get it again (I hope) so I'll be able to work every day, and if someone needs me to come in for them, I can do that too, if it doesn't interfere with my other schedule at my second job.

Ha. A few nights ago I calculated my hours for Hallmark, it was 52.4 hours or something. It used to be in the 70's so I was getting upset until I realized, duh, my second job! I got like 16 hours there. Granted, both added up isn't quite 70 hours, but close enough. It's nearing the Christmas season, and they'll be loading more hours at both places.

A bit ago I was a bit peeved that I didn't get two straight days off. Then I did, but I also got a 3rd day off, in the middle of the week, so it was cutting my hours. Now, I don't care if they're together or not. Just two days off per week. I can't handle 3 or more. Need to save money.

I also found out recently that I'm getting paid slightly more at my second job than the first. Haha, I was laughing so hard. How in the world is that possible? Granted, both checks compared, the first job is more expensive as I get more hours, but that's still pretty cool.

I need to go to the bank sometime soon and deposit my paycheck from my second job. I've got direct deposit at my first job all set up, and it won't "post" in my account until Tuesday. I'll have enough to cover for rent, which is a relief. I used to barely cover it, and have about nothing left for anything else. I mean, I'll have a bit more than almost nothing, but I won't use that as an excuse to go shopping. I do need to get some personal items as well as some milk, running low again.

Chuck left for duty/work about an hour ago and he forgot his overnight bag, but there's nothing in it. Usually a change of clothes, and a heavy blanket. I'm thinking maybe he has everything he needs on the boat. I left him a voicemail message on his cell telling him he left behind his bag, but I figure if he really needed it, he'd come back and grab it. I'm sure he's fine.

My roommate, Royal, replied to an email I sent him earlier this month. Haha, it was so cool to hear from him again. Just asked of how things were going over here, which holiday he should get off if given the chance and to pass along his email address to his Mom, as he no longer has hers for some reason. He's not very... uh... familiar with the internet, and I'm surprised he managed to email me. Haha. I'm mean. He's told me in the past he's not a fan of the internet, though.

So, my dad and step mom have been trying many attempts to get me to get and stay on the Atkins Diet. Now, if you don't already know about it (if you've been living under a rock the past few years, I'll explain it to you). It's a low carb diet. Now, it's good for people who are within normal weight limits or overweight, but not those who are prone to lose weight, and fall into underweight status. That's just bad. The doctors I've had in the past, and present all say, do not do it. I'm skinny as it is, and it'll just make it worse. It may make you feel good at first, but it takes its toll. And they're right. I'm now underweight again. It makes me so mad that I get influenced incorrectly and I always give in to them. They are not doctors, so they really have no say in what I should or shouldn't eat. I don't have Diabetes. Even Diabetic people don't go as far as I went. Egh. It just sucks. A year ago I was 125 lbs. I'm now down to 113. Makes me so mad! The doctor I have now just says if you want to eat a lot of protein, even it out with the carbs, so you can gain the weight. There's really no reason for me to go on a diet, especially one like the Atkins Diet that's extreme. My doctor said it's just like starving yourself, it's the same concept, since I'm skinny.

This is how she explained it. The more protein you eat, your system burns it to form energy and muscles (if you exercise, if not it'll just sit there) then it needs the carbs (energy) to burn it off too. If there's not that many carbs or extra fat in your body, it'll start attacking other things to use it up. I basically have no real muscles (not like last year) and my body weight dropped, as well. My hands are back to bony. I really hate the sight and the feel of them.

People who see me probably think I'm anorexic or something, but I'm not. My appetite has just shrunken down to it's level back like two years ago when I didn't eat all that much. I'm trying to force myself to eat like 5 more bites each meal, after I think I'm full. Also, getting myself back into the mindset as in Basic Training, where it seemed you had a minute to finish a whole plate. When I came home after basic, I'd eat an entire box of cereal for breakfast and still be hungry. I'm talking the nasty-ass Frosted Mini Wheats. I'd dump it all into a big popcorn/mixing bowl, pour milk into it and gobble it all right up within a half hour. No wonder I gained so much weight last year. My mom and step dad (who was in the AF also) were amazed I ate so much in such a short time. Jim, (step dad) knew exactly what I was going through. He's been there, done that after he got out too.

Another reason as to why my appetite levels has tapered off. I could be depressed, like a little, not like a few years ago where I was a total mess. I mean, it has to be a possibility. C'mon, I live near Seattle, WA where it rains about everyday and is gloomy all the time. That and/or stressed. I know I've been stressed out pretty much since I moved here in April. Seven months ago.

I took some meds for my headache. Had it since last night at work and hasn't gone away yet. I made the mistake and didn't take anything for it when I went to bed, just drank a lot of water, which usually does the trick. I took one tylenol p.m. It hits me like a ton of bricks, I don't dare take two.

I have a list going on for today, since Chuck has duty today and won't be home until sometime tomorrow, I can do it all w/o distractions (but we all know I'll get distracted anyway).

Bathroom: sink / toilet / vanity counter
Kitchen: sink / sweep floor / stove top / run dishwasher / wash extra dishes
Living Room: my desk /
Foyer: sweep floor / sweep off shoe rack / remove Royal's Halloween decorations on top
Laundry: bedding / clothes
Vacuum: carpeting, obviously
Trash: collect from all rooms / take out

Other
Turkey Day Preparations: recipes / shopping list / cooking utensils / pre-made Turkey?
Christmas Cards: finish addressing them / write a personalized message in each / stamp each envelope
Bins: sort mine
Storage: find the Christmas tree, take it inside, see if there's any ornaments (it's not mine, but Chuck's)
Research Insurance Rates: dental / health - possible discounted rates based on income

In other news, I can't wait until Bush gets out of office. I know it isn't only his fault for the economy being in the pits but he just added to it. It is his fault for having just over 2 thousand of our troops being killed, as he was the one who brought us into war, under false circumstances. There are no WMD's in Iraq, if there were, we would've found them by now, two years after the war started. I just feel absolutely bad for the troops families, who lost their brothers/sisters/mothers/fathers/husbands/wives. I know that going into the Military, you do risk your life based on going into war, so those like Cindy Sheehan complaining that her son died in vain, well no, not really. He did sign on the dotted line to die for our country. If he didn't want to do that, he wouldn't have joined. End of story.

I'm not saying I'm heartless, I'm sure losing your son, especially in that fashion is really hard to deal with, but on the other hand he did swear in to get into the Military. I'm not sure which branch, Army or whatnot, but each one requires you to swear on the Bible or something equivalent saying you'll defend our country, constitution, freedoms, etc... for as long as you are in the United States Military. (I severely butchered that phrase in it, but that's the point of it.

It's a slippery slope. Many people are for the war (though, not as much as before) and a ton of people are against it (myself included).

Onto a much lighter note, Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days. I can't wait. I get to cook it by myself, a first for me. I'm a bit intimidated. A friend at work suggested purchasing a ready-made turkey at the grocery store. She said it'll be like $30 or so, but all the hard work is over with. Nothing to take out, or stuff, she said. I never de-gizzard or stuffed a turkey before. Also, since it's just going to be the two of us, there's no real point of buying so much food. Probably have this: either 2 cornish game hens or a small ready made turkey or possibly just a few turkey legs to make it easier and cheaper; stuffing (on the side, or inside - I love that stuff); salad; rolls or cornbread (haven't decided yet); sweet potato casserole; green beans; corn. I may purchase an apple pie or something. I'm honestly too afraid of baking it myself, as well we don't have a round pan, but also I'm afraid it'll come out looking like crap, and I'll be too upset to deal with it, and it'll taste like hell if anyone tries it. So... easy way for me this year.

Also, hopefully I'll get to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV that morning. I haven't watched it in ages. I'm serious, too. Last year I had to work at Walmart until 6pm, but went home and fixed myself a turkey pot pie (I think) and I know that isn't a wonderful tradition but I was just by myself as my Mom and Step Dad went down to Southern Alabama to visit my grandma that weekend.

The mall is close all day Thanksgiving. Yay! I'm not worried about my hours, as far as losing them because the holidays are coming up. This week, I have Turkey Day off, obviously, but I always get Thursdays off anyway, so no lost time there. Though, on Friday & Saturday of next week there's a mess-up for my hours for both places. Friday: I work 10 to 4 at Naturium then 4 to 10:30 at Hallmark. Yeah, that won't work. Saturday: 11-4 Naturium then 4-10:30 at Hallmark. I need to call Naturium and just change my hours to 11-3 both days. I need an hour, probably will be less because of the crowds, to eat something. I know I won't get a break at either place, and that's fine. But I can't go all day w/o eating.

I need to add this, pronto... Lots of things to do today!

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears