As of today, he�s leaving Thursday and even that could change. I�m still in shock about everything. I know he�ll be gone until the first few days of August but it hasn�t hit me yet. Probably next week it will. I also won�t be online as much either. A friend is �supposed� to be sending me a computer but who knows if it�ll happen. Down at the rental office they have a small computer lab room with three slow computers for renters to use. During the daytime only is when we can use them, so if you do see me online, just send me an email, I�d be lucky to be able to use yahoo messenger on it.

This apartment is a mess, no mainly this bedroom. I said I was going to file away his paperwork but I never actually got that far, just far enough to stack all the things in different piles: important; receipts; manuals; etc. He said to go ahead and look around the apartment to organize and what not but a little thing in the back of my mind is telling me not to. It�s called manners. I have never been one to snoop around to look at things. Then again this is my apartment too.

Chuck said that once he�s gone I�ll be the Apartment Decorator. All things are allowed just nothing pink or girly colors. Ooohh I can have fun with this! Actually all jokes aside, we do need some sort of coffee table in the living room and possibly a rug for the kitchen. That and a few other supplies that I�ll have to buy myself, which is fair since he�ll be paying for everything else.

I heard recently that my ex got fired/let go/no longer working at that call center and is now employed by a pizza place. I would join in on the laughter but I just hope he�s happy. My thoughts on divorce is totally the opposite of my mom. She would like nothing better than seeing my ex in total agony but I was also to blame in the marriage. I should have done more, I should have spoken up when things weren�t doing so good, should have sought help from the right people, etc. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Lesson learned.

Chuck thinks my eating habits are going back to the way of before last year.. of not eating much at all. I am not eating quite as fast as I used to (as of last year, after BMT). It�s irritating. He does the sweetest things like yesterday while I was watching Man on Fire (denzel washington - good movie) he came up to me, bent down and kissed me on my lips then my forehead. Later came back in to say I don�t eat much. What? Gah. So confusing. I do eat! Does he want me to eat the rest of the food in the house? I can. Just you watch.

I�m getting all worked up over nothing. I better go get some lunch and get working on cleaning this place.

I keep hearing someone honking a horn, but not from a car... more like a ferry but we don�t live that close to the water, I don�t think. *** Correction, we do.

Things I must do for today:
1. Clean the bedroom - straighten up paperwork and put it away; sort through some Navy Uniforms given to Chuck by a friend who just got out of the Navy;
2. Clean the bathroom - did the sink/toilet last week but need to clean the shower (it�s a stand up shower stall, no tub - less to clean, yes!)
3. Pin a note on Royal�s (the roommate) dirty laundry sitting outside his door to tell him to put it in his room. I�d be more than happy to do it for him but he needs to let me know. He likes liquid detergent we have only powder... so yeah.
4. Clean the kitchen. It�s already clean but the fridge needs some work, get rid of the old food in there.
5. Fill out more online applications of places in town and possible just outside of town.
6. Re-design journal sites - okay not super important but I�ve been wanting to do this for ages now.

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears