I am mad right now. I wasn't able to talk to Vee as much as I wanted to this evening. Either it was my phone or hers that kept breaking up horribly. She might have been outside at the time, but either way I could barely hear her.

I am just tired. I want to go to bed, I should stay up but damnit, I can wake up later tomorrow and do the laundry and go to bed at what, 2am on Monday? Yeah, that should work.

I'll update later... If I can keep my sanity until then. Those neighbors I have talked about in here, well they've started to yell ONCE AGAIN! God, can I please have a peaceful weekend for once?!?

I don't want anyone to call tomorrow, I really don't. I had a very bad chest pain incident happen early this morning at uh 7. It woke me up and I couldn't breathe normally, just in short breaths, I couldn't move to wake Chris up. All I could do is whisper "Chris....wake....up....now.....please....wake....up....now.....Chris..." Finally he woke up and freaked out. I told him it was getting better but I just needed him to stay awake just in case. Since then my chest has tightened up a tad but no real pain.

I think my body just told me to take better care of myself. Well it isn't like I abuse myself, unless if you count the occassional not eating binges, but that's when my depression has hit rock bottom. Except for that, I don't abuse myself. I don't do drugs, smoke, drink - only on occassions and not enough to get 'buzzed.'

I sorta want to create another diary err journal of course make it public like this because there are some things I want to write about but afraid that they might see it in here and resent me for it. And I don't want that. I don't want a heart attack either, but no one can't have everything, so we gotta learn to compromise, then again this is the reason I started this journal in the first place: to vent.

I hate all this back and forth bullshit.

I think I should go to bed now.

PS: Chris if you're reading this....I know I said I'd play StarCraft with you after you got off of work, but frankly I'm exhausted and tired of dealing with anyone else who has a pulse; including myself.

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears