Looks like that trip I wanted to take in August won't be happening because I have no vacation time left.

Sometime soon I will find out which type of Depression I may have. I know that I go on and on about this but Depression isn't like the flu, it doesn't linger for a few days, instead for a few years. I think I may just Major Depression since I was diagnosed with it over three years ago.

I also have been nervous almmost 24/7 the past few months. Those close to me know that I worry about stupid things but sometimes I worry so much that I make myself sick and that isn't good.

I have nothing to be depressed about. Well nothing important anyway. I know that everyone at some point in their life were they feel inadequate or not normal. Consider this, I am twenty-one years of age, 12% underweight (101 lbs), 5'9", a late bloomer-still an a cup for about ten yrs now (too much info there, huh? sorry), have to eat a good portion of protein to be energetic. Bleh, I'm just ranting now.

Two people quit in my department recently. One of which just last night, I heard that he couldn't handle the stress.

I feel hopeless and lost. I want to tell others that I'm having these feelings but so far I've told two people and they show no interest and/or they don't care. I guess it is up to me to get help, even if I have to take Zoloft again and talk to a psychriatrist who could care less about my condition.

Now I wonder why I told my supervisor, "Oh I'm fine." when I'm not, after he asked how I was doing. This is a prime example of one of the dumb things I worry about. Like what if I just sat still and didn't reply, then he would know that something was up.

I don't know what I'm going to do now.

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears