0047 "Long time, no entry. Leave the gossiping to kids." 13 AUG 04

Stuff's been going on, most of which I can't put in here.

I am glad John Heffron won. Go him! Sleeding down stairs in a laundry basket is so much fun!

My other journal is booming...with long but sporadic entries. Heh. Still locked folks, sorry.

I'd let all see it, but I can't trust some of ya'll, even my own family. that sort of trust may never get re-built. But I'm hopeful. No more of this talking to someone and having it get blown up in my face later, after it's been grossly regurgitated in the circle of "Re-forming Nicki." If you really love me, you wouldn't bare all from which you "heard me say or did - especially in the past" without hearing it directly from me. I'm sick of those games.

I am not hyper/hypoglycemic. I am not misguided. I am not unhappy. I am not weat. I am not a quitter. I was not malnourished growing up. I am not your guinuie pig that you can mold. I am a growing person who has a soul. I made it through BMT in the mental sense. Though the only thing stopping me from graduating, my back. I did not fake it. X-rays don't lie. I made it to my 4th week out of six. I was in it for three months. It either makes you into someone stronger, or it breaks you.

You don't see me crying.

I am a strong-willed; assertive; positive; beaming; twenty-two year old female.

You cannot break me down.

I want to trust my family and friends again. I want to tell them everything; but I know it'll come around be be heavily distorted.

Anyway, I have good news. I save $130 dollars on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

Hahaha. Nah. I'm now 120 lbs.

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears