A major thing happened to us last night that had Chris ending up at the Emergency Room. Here's the story: around 7:50 he came home for work last night he barged in the bedroom where I was sleeping and turned the light on. I woke up, and saw him shaking I thought he was laughing so I asked jokingly "hey Chris how was work?" He shook more and collapsed on the floor.

O.K. it wasn't a joke.

He started to cry and mutter something about a displinary action against him at work. I told him to lie down on the bed and relax, he did so well at least he lied down on the bed. I asked if he will be o.k. going back to work by himself because I was still sort of drugged up. He said, "I can't wait to go in that car and do something." and he muttered something else in regards to committing suicide.

So I jumped off of the bed and grabbed the phone to call his parents to see of what to do. (I was confused, I honestly didn't know what to do) I called five to six times and each time it was busy. I tried calling the Shop but they closed at 5:30 so obviously no one would answer. I tried the house line again and I heard it ring. Grandma answered. I said it was Nicki and Chris isn't doing very good, I explained of what I could while crying. She told me to calm down and to take Chris to the ER and she will meet us there in a few minutes. I told her that he's on his lunch, she said she would handle it (she used to work at the same place we work). I told Chris to get his shoes and coat on, he said "where are we going?"

Me - "To the ER"
Chris - "I don't want to be admitted"
Me - "You probably won't but only the doctor can make that decision"
Chris - "No, I don't want to go."
Me - "Chris, seriously you need help, you are scaring me."
Chris - "Okay."

We sat there for about maybe, a half an hour until the nurse came in. The nurse was asking Chris questions that he obviously couldn't answer because he was so darn stressed out and nervous that he couldn't calm down. I was trying to chip in but the male nurse just gave me a look that was so classic to say "Now, is your name Chris F******? I didn't think so." But then he asked of who I was, he said, "And you are his Sister, Girlfriend, Friend...?" I said, no I'm his wife. His expression man, I just wanted to take a picture of it. Yeah, don't assume... it gets you in trouble.

He left a few moments later, but about an hour later the real Doctor came in. I'll skip over the emotional moments but basically to sum it up, Chris wasn't sent to the Psychiactric Ward, but was sent home with me, also ordered to go to see his doctor tomorrow to set up meds and possible out-patient therapy.

Chris has been nothing but feeling better since then. But now I know what to watch for. Thank God I have support from his family especially his Grandma. She said if I or he needs anything, whatever it may be, to call and she'll help out in any way she can.

Well as you know I went to the doctor today (at 1pm) but around 2 I finally got to see him face-to-face. He reminded me too much of my pediatrician back in Indy when I was a kid and also of my Dad, which was scary in itself. He talked slow as possible like as if I couldn't understand him if he talked any faster and he let his stomach growl quite loudly and he clicked his pen as if synchronizing to the tic-toc of the clock.

Well the results came back normal, all except for one the thyroid never came back but he said "I am 99.9% sure that it will come back normal." I was saying in my head that he can't be that sure, you never know it could come back abnormal or something.

He had asked of why I was on the Short Term Medical/Disability Leave (STD) from Dec 18th. I explained to him it is because I was diagnosed as having GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder and was prescribed some anxiety meds in Mid December but stopped taking them since I really haven't had the need to take them. He asked, "Then why are you still on the short term if you haven't had an anxiety attack since december?" I said (while getting so upset that I was crying... I don't know why though) that I have but the meds don't help and I'm just afraid that I'm going to lose my voice if I get on the phones again and I don't want that to happen.

*Sighs*

That guy is a jerk.

Our usual doctor wasn't in today, naturally but he will be in on Sat, that will be when I am planning on to spill to beans with him.

In other news, I am no longer going to hide my thoughts and ideas, I am going to put them out onto here and let it be known, I'm tired of editing my entries so that they have no substance. I'm sorry for failing you, Journal. Can you forgive me?

Past Five:
12 May 2006 * Workaholic
16 April 2006 * It's Easter!
20 March 2006 * And she comes back
07 January 2006 * Starting over, elsewhere. I think.
02 January 2006 * Face your fears